One Horny Summer

 I had another first date last night with a fella I met while spite-swiping after the last first date.  Professor has been spending plenty of time on the app (thank you stalkery green dot for showing when someone is online) and being kind of withdrawn in answering my texts.  Instead of ruminating on it, I just said "next please" and ended up meeting a guy who is a couple years younger than me and much more type as in he is full of red flags and we spent two weeks oversharing through text messages.  Let's think of a psuedonyn for him hmmmmmmmmmmmm... Flag.  

Now because he managed to find me on facebook before I even told him my last name, and because of some very loose connections that may make it possible for my name to trace back to this blog, there is a slight possibility that Flag could read this.  I'm not about to eviscerate him in anyway but this is perhaps a more honest "review" than the one I have given him.  He asked for initial evaluations and I said that I had fun and would like to hang out again.  All true.  The problem?  The problem is that he has a grown out beard and hair (Pandemic) and while they are a nice beard and hair, my brain keeps screaming "oh my god, he looks just like my dad's friend Bowser" which played in my head on a loop.

I am not anti-beard but... I don't like those big long ones.  I also don't want to be that kind of woman who dictates what her man needs to look like.  I am the kind of woman who drops hints on what she would like her man to do with his appearance and hopes he is able to pick up on context clues and obliges.

So what are the red flags?  He is separated from his wife but they still live together and have not filed for divorce yet because insurance and pandemic.  He says they have been basically over for three years but just a few months ago he was posting lovey pictures of the two of them.  Apparently she's gone poly and has a new boyfriend and is encouraging him to date.  Also, his posts are a lot about being depressed and it came out one night that he is bipolar but not on meds, just weed, but was out of weed.  He has a job but has been on disability after dislocating his knee so he has nothing to do but check in with me all day.  He seems maybe prone to be a bit moody.  I mean, I can be too, but it also means that I would be codependent in trying to cheer him up and manage his mood and that isn't good for me.

White flags:  we have had long unfiltered conversations about everything from raping to being raped to traumatic childhoods to death of friends.  *slow realization* Oh shit, we were trauma bonding.  But he's funny and makes me laugh and I think I make him laugh.  He's quite tall and banged his head on my very short bathroom doorway.  Are these pluses?  Similar upbringing, similar senses of humor, taste in music and tv shows.  I think he'd be cool with poop talk.  Professor, probably not so much.

We messed around but didn't do it all the way.  There may have been a moment or two of just the tip and he may be beating himself up over that.  Had fitbit not told me that I was in my fertile window, it may have gone further but I'm guess I glad I didn't.  He tried to make me come, but that never happens a first time with someone.  It was fun nonetheless.

Professor did start texting me again, though not back to what it was.  He'd been preparing for a job interview, I guess I was a distraction.

I can't say for sure that either of these guys will be my next boyfriend.  The fact that everyone is lonely and horny post-pandemic might make for one horny summer that rivals that of 2017.  I wonder if my emotions are broken or  rusty but now I compare my experiences to James.  I wasn't 100% sure on our first date until we kissed.  But once we kissed, which was not until the very end,  I knew I loved him.  I also took a picture of him without him knowing.  That hasn't happened again yet.  I guess we'll see.  Should be an interesting summer.